One day, long ago I accost the question . . . “What are you looking for? Well, whatever it is that you seem to be looking for, I hope you find it soon.” Ten years later, I became reminded of this allegation. I never really gave it much thought then, but now, I ask myself, 'am I really suppose to be looking for something?' Will I know what I am supposed to be looking for? And so I wonder, what happens when you find that something? Is it supposed to make you happier? Are you supposed to feel complete? Have I been incomplete all along?
An arising abundance of motions regarding this simple statement leads to more demurral. So here I am, pondering, wasting time as I am stuck. Or am I really?
As it seems from where I sit today, with all of what 'life' has brought me, there still strives to be a larking sense that I have yet filled my prophecy regardless of what it may entail. I am curious if others have spent this much time searching for the answer. And who knows, maybe writing this is fulfilling my prophecy. After all, just letting someone else read this embarks something new and unknown, as I have no clue where this could end.
Finding there really is no sense of direction, makes me think that with the morals and beliefs instilled in us since birth, that this should be the place to start looking, to search for a clue that maybe I have overlooked. But this maybe a lost cause as you can't change the past, only future stars. So if the past makes me who I am today, along with the ideology of looking for something, does this make me a lost soul? Was my purpose altered by lack of influence, just as it was altered by the inducement of a peculiar, less fulfilling influence? Alterations are everywhere and we can't really dwell on them as we would never get further in the journey of searching for another clue to my life's most mysterious question.
On the other side, if I gave up the quest for my purpose, would I been wasting time? Would this lead to a path of non-self-fulfillment? I wrote this question, I had to stop, as this seems to be an oxymoron. In that, if I wasn't given the idea that I needed a purpose, I would have never wasted my time, nor even considered searching. Therefore, this is all just an illusion. And maybe it’s just a means to get to another place, without having to stumble upon it.
But, if your pilgrimage entails stumbling, can you still lead with a purpose unbenounced to the conscience? Yet, if you are fully engulf in the search you seem to miss out on just being, or rather going with the flow. Either way seems unreasonable. As I have set goals and completed them, and also live for the moment with no thought or care. Both seem to be missing the other. This leads me to believe that I should have a purpose as I live as a free bird. Yet one can only be so much of a free bird when you are expected be to participate in what appears as the ultimate scavenger hunt!
An arising abundance of motions regarding this simple statement leads to more demurral. So here I am, pondering, wasting time as I am stuck. Or am I really?
As it seems from where I sit today, with all of what 'life' has brought me, there still strives to be a larking sense that I have yet filled my prophecy regardless of what it may entail. I am curious if others have spent this much time searching for the answer. And who knows, maybe writing this is fulfilling my prophecy. After all, just letting someone else read this embarks something new and unknown, as I have no clue where this could end.
Finding there really is no sense of direction, makes me think that with the morals and beliefs instilled in us since birth, that this should be the place to start looking, to search for a clue that maybe I have overlooked. But this maybe a lost cause as you can't change the past, only future stars. So if the past makes me who I am today, along with the ideology of looking for something, does this make me a lost soul? Was my purpose altered by lack of influence, just as it was altered by the inducement of a peculiar, less fulfilling influence? Alterations are everywhere and we can't really dwell on them as we would never get further in the journey of searching for another clue to my life's most mysterious question.
On the other side, if I gave up the quest for my purpose, would I been wasting time? Would this lead to a path of non-self-fulfillment? I wrote this question, I had to stop, as this seems to be an oxymoron. In that, if I wasn't given the idea that I needed a purpose, I would have never wasted my time, nor even considered searching. Therefore, this is all just an illusion. And maybe it’s just a means to get to another place, without having to stumble upon it.
But, if your pilgrimage entails stumbling, can you still lead with a purpose unbenounced to the conscience? Yet, if you are fully engulf in the search you seem to miss out on just being, or rather going with the flow. Either way seems unreasonable. As I have set goals and completed them, and also live for the moment with no thought or care. Both seem to be missing the other. This leads me to believe that I should have a purpose as I live as a free bird. Yet one can only be so much of a free bird when you are expected be to participate in what appears as the ultimate scavenger hunt!
The "ulitmate scavenger hunt" is nothing more than what society wants us to believe in. And so,,, we continue on slaving and working towards these goals of ours that we feel are the correct ones to attain. "We" get entrapped in doing and trying and really do miss out on living.
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